Jason's brain augmentation

Everyone knows that I have a very poor sense of direction. But not anymore. I finally sprung for a GPS system. There are so many to choose from so I spent several minutes doing research before I gave up and just bought something.
The TomTom GO 910. Maybe the garmin is better, I don't care. This thing is amazing. I snagged a refurbished one off buy.com for $364.

As I hoped, it tells me where to go at every turn. It's like having a wife in a box, but she doesn't yell at me when I screw up asking why I'm "driving like a jerk".

For example, if I were to space out and missed a turn, or even if I were to blatantly ignore Jackie's driving advice, would she calmly say, "recalculating"? No. If they would only program the 910 to compliment my driving skills once in a while I think they would really have something. I would probably pay another $25 to hear a female voice tell me what a good job I'm doing. Another $25 if I could yell "shut up!" and the voice would say "Appologies Master". Anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Among other things, it speaks bluetooth, so I can use it as my phone interface while driving. Also if you get the FM transciever mounting brace it can send the calming voice through your car stereo. Synced with your phone, you can search for restaraunts or hotels or parking garages etc. near wherever you are, then click the phone symbol and it will call them. How did our ancestors survive without this?

Also, it has a 20Gb hard drive. So you can make it a juke box as well as a photo album. Maps and voices take up a couple gig though. Also, it comes pre-loaded with several samples from audio books you can download from audible.com. That, along with the FM transciever, makes this an amazing thing in my opinion.

Oh, and one more thing. When you go to the mall, you undock the 910 from the mounting brace and take it with you. Obviously you don't want people to steal it! But then if you forget where your car is you can click on "last docked position" and it will tell you where the hell your car is. Suh-weet! Now I don't have to park in the exact same spot at the mall every stinking time just so I have some hope of finding my car again.

In conclusion, I look forward to completely giving up on paying any attention whatsoever to where I am or where I'm going. That tiny, defective, part of my brain will now completely atrophy. Freedom at last!