Arbor Day Special!

Since Arbor Day is some time around now, corporate e-mails are flying about how great it is to get out there and plant trees! Make a difference! As much as I love trees, they are giant weeds. Please note this picture from my back yard. These are all little Maple trees which I'm going to have to pull out since they are infesting my bark dust!

If it feels good to plant a tree, I must be euphoric. The diligent neglect of my backyard has spawned hundreds of them! Maybe I could re-plant these in my neighbor's gutters. Some people around this area are apparently cultivating rain gutter compost. A maple or a douglas fir sprouting from someone else's roof can a beautiful thing.

Get Your Hands Up You Damn Dirty Ape

From the Austin American-Statesman comes the story of a rogue chimp that got a little too uppity. On March 12 Tony (the chimp) escaped from a research center, stole a dart gun from a university worker who was trying to shoot him, and was finally confronted by one of UT's finest. Imagine the tension in the air as the officer confronted the runaway monkey:

"The chimpanzee started flailing its arms. The officer shouted at least twice that he was going to shoot," the report said. "In fear for his safety, the officer then fired several times, striking the chimpanzee."

He warned the hairy bastard twice that he was going to shoot. Now that's good police work. I'm calling it a good shoot.

Who Would You Choose?

The pseudo-scifi folks at io9.com ask the eternal question: who would you choose, Colonel Wilma Deering or Princess Ardala? In attempt to relive my adolescence I have been going through the Buck Rogers TV series from the late seventies. Regular readers of this blog might recall my intense admiration for the good Colonel. I am happy to report, even though the TV series itself it dreadful and far worse than I remember, Wilma looks as good as ever. So, there can really be only one answer to the question, despite the fact that the Princess looks pretty good too, especially in her space bikini.

Darth Chipmunk?